June 2, 2019

How to give a hug

I absolutely love giving and receiving good hugs. I take them very seriously. They are pretty high on my list of ways of showing affection. My best memories of my dad were his bear hugs. I remember every single person in my life that has given me a fantastic hug. If you have given me a good hug in the past, thank you. I’m pretty sure I loved it.

I have also received pretty terrible ones, and boy do I hate that. I understand that hugging is not for everyone. It’s a lot of contact. Forcing a hug on someone you don’t feel confident hugging it’s a horrible experience that no one should be put through.

But a hug can also be incredibly magical. An opportunity to connect with someone you appreciate or love beyond words or actions. It can instantly change someone’s mood and energy. It just makes us feel better.

So, how to give a hug:

  1. Make sure that the person you’re about to hug wants to be hugged.
  2. Make sure that you actually care and want to hug that person.
  3. If you or the other person doesn’t want to, that’s perfectly ok and we humans have plenty of alternatives.
  4. If you both do, HUG that person with everything you have. Be open, be warm, and be vulnerable in order to make the other feel safe, supported, and loved.
  5. Wrap your arms around them, squeeze them a bit (or a lot!), give them a bit of your energy, make them feel that you care, and stay there for a few seconds (or more!).
  6. More importantly, close your eyes and enjoy it. It’s such a beautiful and vulnerable gift to hug or to be hugged that way. You owe it to yourself and the person hugging you to be grateful and to enjoy it as much as you can.

If you’re not going to hug like that, just don’t hug. It’s ok 🙂

And if you want to be hugged that way, ask for it! Life’s too short to not enjoy those hugs all the time.

Now go give someone a hug.